I have a confession to make. I’ve been a bad witch.
On Monday I overworked myself, and did all the bad things: I went to bed after midnight, looked at the screen for 18 hours and convinced myself it was because I was in the flow. I pushed through Tuesday, after getting less than 6 hours sleep and not eating properly that day. I went to bed with a headache and I woke up feeling like I fried my brain. It felt like I’d been run over by a freight train. Ouch!
After taking a long shower, visualising the water washing away the tension in my head, I decided to give up the day to rest. (Fu*k. I really didn’t have time for that. I have a big to do list: schedule social media posts, prepare for the week of full moon events, invite women to my free online masterclass and share my mentorship program launch starting July).
I know this voice well and I can tell this is all fear based stress. So I gave it some space to be heard. I asked myself:
“What is it that you are afraid of if we rest today?”
“What do we really need to get done today?”
“Is there something that you are unsure about”
“Do you not trust that we are a magnetic force of feminine nature, with manifesting powers?”
And finally I told myself: “You create life darling, the feminine will not be rushed. You will take today to rest and see what unfolds.”
I took myself on a self-regulating retreat. It looked a little something like this:
A glass of celery juice;
A smoothie with digestive enzym goodness and protein;
A cup of medicinal cacao;
A walk to allow my thoughts to run wild;
Naked sunbathing at the Tea Tree Lake;
A nudie swim in the healing waters;
Journalling my ideas down on paper;
Home for a hot bath with lavender oil;
Comfortable track pants, a warm jumper and laying in bed;
A hug from my close friends and houseloves;
Home-made vegetable soup;
Fresh sheets and an early night.
But here is my confession… as I got to the tea tree lake, my soul was delighted to dive into the healing waters… but the scaredy cat voice in my head held me back.
“But you can’t see what’s in the depths of the lake!”
My soul responded “It will be so refreshing.”
“Ahhh ummm I’m not sure, it could have leaches in there.”
“Come on mind, I know you don’t like to get uncomfortable. But we need to do this.”
“eeeehhhhh I really think you’ll be fine if you stay on the grass.”
“Come on, I’m not going to think about this. I’m just going to jump.”
I laughed a little and thought how funny this would look if someone was watching this. This naked woman hesitating in the shallows of the lake.
“Ok.” my soul negotiated “We will jump in and swim straight back to the bank.”
I began to lift myself up out of the mind, out of the thinking, and took a deep breath. I dove in.
I immersed my head under the healing waters and refreshed my entire body.
“Haaaaaaa that feels so good!” I played in the lake for a few minutes and came back to bath in the sun.
The fresh water dripping from my hair onto my lower back felt liberating. Wild and free. I’ve always got time for this, I thought. What was i so worried about.
On the banks of the lake I made a commitment to myself. To balance both the action and the rest in my day. Both need to be a familiar feeling in my body and mind, so I can jump straight into the lake, without a battle.
I must regularly do things that challenge my mind, otherwise it will control my heart, and I will loose the ability to fill up my cup with Love.
The power in the rest, means I feel peace, I trust, and I am confident in the magic I have as a woman.