Emotional Intelligence

PART 2

Continuing on from my post this week: DEALING WITH BIG EMOTIONS, I wanted to share with you my story of experiencing anger and protectiveness recently.

Those who have followed me for some time, will know that since I ended a relationship with a narcissist, I’ve been seeing a psychologist. This and learning NVC (non violent communication) has been a game changer for managing my energy levels and spikes in anxiety.

So recently when I was experiencing anger and protectiveness, I knew not to ignore it. It felt quite similar to what I felt in that toxic relationship but this time, the person I had a problem with was not narcissistic.

It doesn’t matter what diagnosis that person has or does not have, what was important for me to recognise was that I felt unsafe.

To be aware and in touch with my feelings, I could identify what my needs were in that relationship. This particular relationship was someone who I was sharing a house with.

I identified what was important to me in a household and I need safety, consistency, communication, consideration, honesty, shared reality and respect. In this situation, these needs were compromised.

By being able to identify what was important to me I could understand why I had feelings of anger - my boundaries were being crossed and I was feeling disrespected.

With more understanding about my needs and my feelings, I was able to have a conflicting conversation, rather than avoid it. In the end I had several conflicting and uncomfortable conversations, so I became well practiced 😅

My intention in these conversations were to understand the other and to be understood but eventually I realised that we were not aligning, and unable to meet those needs for one another.

There is so much that came up for me in this process, especially the voice in my head that told me that I was being mean, that I should ‘get over it’, and basically that my needs didn’t matter and the other persons needs mattered more.

This is also an important stage in NVC, to address this voice with compassion. It also has important information for you.

The depth that NVC and therapy has for me, has been truely healing and comforting in very difficult times.

I’ve become more accepting and confident within myself and able to express my needs with others.

I now share these tools in my 1:1 ONLINE HEALING SESSIONS: EMOTIONAL CLARITY THERAPY. These are particularly helpful at times of crisis, or full moon eclipses 😮‍💨

🧨 I HAVE ONLY 2 PLACES LEFT FOR THIS WEEK. Check my availability and book here: https://lightwitchbyron.as.me/?appointmentType=50436424